Because I can't sleep

I can't seem to sleep. Because I can't sleep interwebs you shall be graced with just a few of my random observations.

1. I live in the middle of nowhere. Okay, not really the middle of nowhere, but a decent distance towards nowhere at the mouth of a canyon. It's windy all of the time. Okay, not all of the time, but all of the time between the hours of 9 PM and 3 AM. This wind makes it really hard to be energy efficient (and when I say energy efficient I actually mean cheap, electricity is expensive) and open my windows at night to cool of the house because when I do so the wind blows my wedding pictures of the shelf in the master bedroom and causes random doors in the house to slam shut, scaring the daylights out of me and making me say words that I am working very hard to not say anymore because I don't want my one year old swearing at random strangers.

2. Speaking of which, I HAVE A ONE YEAR OLD. When did that happen? She just came home the other day, a little 5 pound squirt who slept, ate, and pooped. Now? Well, now she's frustrated at her inability to talk and instead grunts and points and then screams when that doesn't work. She goes up and down stairs, and refuses to let me put anything in her hair, and laughs at herself because she's just that funny, she believes that all food is hers and she MUST feed herself. If you put food in her mouth she will take it out, hold it for a second, then put it back and commence with the eating. In addition, one of her favorite games is to antagonize her mother. Me: "Say mama." Her: "Dad." Me: "Say mama." Her: "Dada." Then she giggles at herself. Little stink.

3. I should be committed, like padded walls committed. I have decided to go back to school. Now, let's review. Full-time (or more depending on the week) job, husband, house, baby, school. Am I completely insane? Yes, yes I am. I'll let you know how that goes. Sleep, I shall miss you.

4. I'm still fat. I'm hoping school will help that. I really don't think I'll have time to eat. I'm pretty excited about it. Forced dieting is still dieting.

5. The soft water man is coming tomorrow! I didn't know water this hard existed, I want my hair back. Let us all rejoice about the soft water man....

And with that, I shall leave you a with my one year old. Mostly because she's so freakin' cute.

Any and all comments regarding how cute she is would be greatly appreciated. And yes, I've asked the pediatrician if she's too young for Rogaine, apparently she is. And she's adorable even without the hair.

Because I am extremely fickle

I am bitter today. Very bitter. I used to think of myself as a very level individual, not so much lately. Yesterday I was just fine, today I am bitter. I think I need a new job, my job makes me bitter. Very bitter.

That's all. Have a lovely night.

Because I'm working on not being bitter

I'm working on it, I really am. I'm trying to not be as bitter as I was last week. Last week was a very bitter week in my life. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's the most bitter I've been in quite a while. However, I'm moving on. I'm trying to see the bright side of things. It may have something to do with the icky snow melting and the sun coming out. I'm not sure.

In other news, Jillian and I made friends tonight. It was rough. Much rougher than a twenty minute workout should be. I think I may be out of shape. Surprisingly enough it felt good. Really good. And now I feel like I've accomplished something today. Yay me.

I've also given up Diet Pepsi. Now, let's not get crazy here, I briefly considered abandoning Diet Coke (but then what kind of stereotypical Mormon mommy would I be), but eventually decided on simply giving up drinking Diet Pepsi at work. No Diet Pepsi has turned into me drinking water. I'm really hoping it makes me slightly less hungry. It hasn't exactly panned out yet, but I'm not giving up hope.

Wee One has started crawling and there are all kinds of stories to relate there, but quite frankly Jillian has worn me out.

Have a lovely evening interwebs.

Heart,

Stacy

Because I am a bad person

I am. I am a bad person. Right now I am sitting on the couch blogging while watching Police Women of Maricopa County. (You didn't actually think I only watched Cops, right) I've been thinking about The Shred for the last forty minutes, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I also ate a whole junk load of Oreos today and pizza, lots of pizza. And you know what, I don't feel bad about it.

I'm not completely sure that I really have what it takes to be skinny again. And at this point, I'm just thinking about it because I want to be the skinny, attractive new couple in the ward when we move. Have I mentioned how conceited I am? I already have to combat with a bald baby. I mean, yeah, she's cute and perfectly behaved, but she has no hair and I am bothered by it way more than could be considered normal.

Also, can we just discuss for a minute how many problems arise with marriage because of the different atmospheres and customs that people grow up in? I won't go into specifics, because interwebs I don't truly trust you, but seriously? I mean, seriously!?

In other news, this week a job which shall not be named, corporate office got an email about a "main manager dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, wearing slippers, looking like she had just rolled out of bed." First, I don't go anywhere looking like I just rolled out of bed, remember how conceited I am? Second, I don't own slippers. Period. Flip flops, people, not slippers, and my toenails are perfectly painted. And third, I can't walk into a building without being mobbed. Lay off the jeans and sweatshirt. Rant over.

For the record, I have no idea what I weigh right now. I can't even think about how depressing that would be and quite frankly I've had enough stress this week.

Man, I sound bitter today. That's all. Please don't tell.

Heart,

Stacy

Because I have changed my mind

I have changed my mind. I don't want to buy a house anymore. I mean, I get it, I understand that a significant number of people have defaulted in their mortgages, but I'm pretty sure by the end of this the bank's going to want a DNA sample, a clean drug test, and my first born. And if I give them my first born I won't really need the house anymore, now will I?

Because my commitment hasn't dwindled, just my methods

Well hello Interwebs. Long time no talk. Yes, I realize this is a failure on my part. However, I feel it should be noted that I have been very distracted with other things. I have been doing fairly well on the not getting more fat. I've made it down to 161. Yay, me.

Let's move onto the other stuff that has left me so distracted and therefore unable to remember to eat on a regular basis. I can't seem to stop growing up. First there was the boy, then I married the boy, then there was the baby (still not really sure about that one. Though she is dang cute and literally the best behaved child ever!), now there is the house. Yeah, the house. For some reason I've decided the ultimate financial commitment is the next step in my light speed path. And seriously, house buying is complicated. Makes my head hurt. I think the lender is going to want my first born before this is over, and if they take my first born I really don't feel like I'm grown up enough to need the house anymore.

I'm pretty sad about the moving, excited about the house, but sad about the moving. I have the greatest living arrangements of all time at the moment. No, I can't live in my grandparents basement forever, but wouldn't it be nice if I could? There's a built-in child watcher at all times, talk about convenient and for the first year of my marriage, before I figured out that toilet paper doesn't just magically appear under the bathroom counter once every two weeks, I stole most of my toilet paper out of the garage. It helped me ease into this grown up thing. I've had responsibility down pat since I was about 16, but the common sense life things took me until about ten minutes ago, and I'm sure that I'll be upstairs by tomorrow night because I need something. Do you think my new neighbors will mind that I "borrow" stuff without asking? Or that I very rarely return it?

Because sometimes I just wish I could move back in with my mommy

Sometimes I really think being an adult is overrated. On a day to day basis there is simply too many adult decisions to make. What to cook for dinner, whether or not to do laundry, car payments to make, cell phone bills to pay, etc.

I have decided the perfect solution to this issue is to move back into my parent's house. My mom is wonderful. She does my laundry, she cooks my dinner, and no she probably wouldn't start paying all my bills, but I don't think I can fully explain how much deciding what to cook for dinner stresses me out. Not to mention the fact that I would have a build in babysitter. All of the time. It would be so awesome.

If you have any suggestions on how I can sell this fabulous plan to Significant Other, please let me know. He only looks at the negatives in my little plan, he sees none of the positives.