Because it went so well

Dear New Moon Fans,

My name is Stacy and on behalf of job that shall not be named I want to welcome you to New Moon. Before we start the movie I have a couple of announcements. First, as you may or may not have already figured out this is a fairly popular movie. As such, it would be greatly appreciated, especially by my cleaning boys, if you would take all of your trash with you as you exit the auditorium. Second, for those around you please turn off your cell phones for the duration of the movie. This includes text messaging. I know you all think you are sneaky hiding them under your jackets and such, but they glow and disturb those around you. Third, thank you from the bottom of my heart, you have been so well behaved this weekend that I have nearly jumped for joy.

If you have any problems, please feel free to grab a manager (as long as it isn't me). I'm going home. While you have been very good, I worked 36ish hours in the last 3 days and I am completely exhausted and don't want my baby to forget who I am.

For those of you who are interested (which as it turns out is nearly 90 percent of the audience), Eclipse opens June 30, 2010. Tickets will go on sale at the end of May or beginning of June. Enjoy the movie. Let us know if we can do anything. I'll see you all in six months.

To the one lady that yelled at me this weekend. Seriously!? You expect to show up three minutes after the biggest movie of the year starts and be able to find four seats together. Seriously!? I had people in line two hours early. Yes, I would be more than happy to switch you to a later show. No, you don't need to yell at me. No, I won't refund your concessions. Removing them from the theater does not make them inedible. Have a lovely day. I'm sure your 14 year old son really wanted to see this movie. Can't you see how happy he is.

Because it's just a movie

Dear New Moon Fans,

Please remember it is just a movie. I know that you love it and I know that you just CAN'T wait to see it, but please don't yell at me to the point that you compromise my mental stability. I am a very calm, composed person but I almost hit a few of you last year. I promise to do my best to keep your line organized, keep you out of the cold, seat you as quickly as possible, and serve you all the oil-popped goodness and Diet Pepsi you can handle, all I ask in return is small amounts of understanding. I am dealing with you 400 at a time, it can be slightly overwhelming.

No, I don't think the movies are the BEST ever, but I did actually enjoy New Moon. No, I won't be purchasing it on DVD but I may be willing to view it again.

I truly hope you enjoy your viewing experience. If you're super nice to me I might even give you a t-shirt or hat.

Heart,

Stacy

Because apparently I have very loose convictions

There are a number of things I said I would never do. At the top of that list was joining Facebook. I considered, and still do really, it to be nothing more than a gigantic time sucker; study time, cleaning time, working time (heaven knows I'm fighting a continual uphill battle to get my "children" at job which shall not be named to avoid updating their statuses while on the clock), cooking time, mommy time, laundry time... you get the picture.

Apparently I have very loose convictions. Today, with little more than a second thought, I joined Facebook. Unabashed shame rushed over me immediately. What had I done? I'd said I would never do it. How much flak was I going to take (be it deserved or not) from the many people who I had mocked mercilessly for their Facebook addictions? What was I thinking?

Within minutes I was consumed with the world of Facebook. Everything happens so fast. What was going on? Status updates, comments, pictures, games.... there is so much to see and read and process at once. I am so overwhelmed. Is there any reason for me to ever leave my couch again? It is now possible for me to communicate effectively with the outside world simply through the computer. Whilst I am experiencing all of these things at once, it comes to me, I adore this. I do. I am ashamed to admit it, but I love it. People that I haven't spoken to in years are suddenly right there. I can have friends again, it's been so long since I've had friends. (Even if they are only internet friends, it's better than nothing right? Anyone want to be my friend?) All of those people that called me fat through my life, because of Facebook I now know karma is a beast (yes, I am fully aware that this is not nice and I am not proud of it, but then again I am not exactly known for being a "nice" person).

Facebook welcome to my life. I am so sorry that we did not meet sooner. Oh, is there anyone out there willing to come care for my child? I'm pretty sure the computer will be requiring the bulk of my time from here on out and I must prioritize.

Because it's never too early to be addicted to television

Wee One has developed this extremely obnoxious habit of batting her bottle out of her mouth over and over again, this is followed by a screech that sounds something like a dead cat because the bottle is no longer there. Now it was amusing the first two, maybe three, times that it happened. However, by time number eight (in the same feeding mind you) I was no longer having fun.

Obvious solution to said problem, position child so she can see the television. She will be mesmerized and the eating may commence in peace.

And it is because of mothers like me that the youth of America spend so much time watching television.

Because everyone deserves a chance to judge

So, I'm refined. I wear heels. I adore suits. I'm well read. I have a college education. I watch the West Wing. I talk politics. I read Supreme Court cases for fun.

Significant Other, Wee One, and I went on vacation this weekend. Where did we go, you ask? Well, being the refined young family that we are, we went to the drag races.

Yep, the NHRA Las Vegas Nationals. I spent my weekend watching drag racing, and I loved every minute of it. I love the smell of nitro. I love the cars. I love the drivers. I love the sounds. I love the crashes. I speak the language. I wish I could bottle VHT, my car would smell amazing (yes, I realize no one knows what this is). My face looks lovely due to the fact that I spent three days sitting in the same spot, with the sun blaring down on the right side of my face. And my raccoon eyes are spectacular (raccoon eye, really).

Most people go to Vegas for the food and shopping, (well, and the gambling, liquor, and naked women, but that's not exactly my style), I go for the racing. Don't worry, it was a true family affair; my mom, dad, and two sisters attended as well.

I'm sad the weekend is over. And I will be back next year. And just in case you were wondering, the events I don't get the pleasure of attending in person I watch on ESPN 2. It may be a closet addiction, but it is a strong one, nonetheless.

Significant Other is still wondering what he got himself into.

And I'm not a horrible mother, I did not take my four month old to the track. I tried, my mom vetoed it. Apparently it's a very loud place.

And with that, I invite you to judge away.

Because I'm conceited

Yep, I caved. I did. Apparently my personal convictions cave in the face of my ego maniacal tendencies.